The Lion Hero (1)The Run Away

作者:汉娜神园  于 2012-1-2 10:42 发表于 最热闹的华人社交网络--贝壳村


The    Lion   HERO

By: Hannah S.

Chapter one: The run away

Kona, the lion cub lived with her father, mother, two brothers, and two sisters. Furthermore, she was  a well behaved lion cub. She never hogged food, she always shared, and Kona would never , ever  tell on her siblings. Kona also had very nice manners.


Kona however, changed one day when she hogged lunch, a kudu. Kona bit more off than she can chew, and that’s when she started to collect and hide food from her parents.

One day…

“Kona!”Her mother screeched.

“Yeah?”Kona yelled.

“Why do I see twelve pounds of  kudu, gazelle, impala, zebra and antelope in this cave?????!!!!!”Kona’s mother yelled back.

“Ugh, why do you always have to snoop?”Kona sassed.

“Because I am your mother and how dare you talk to me like that!!”Kona’s mother screamed in reply.

“Leave me alone!”Kona shouted, her eyes brimmed with tears.

The next day, Kona ran away and never came back. She knew what she had done is wrong but it is the only way to get her parents to regret yelling at her. As Kona walked away she realized she was in the middle of nowhere.

“I’m LOST!” Kona started to cry.

“I’ll never find my way back home!”Kona sobbed.


发表评论 评论 (35 个评论)

1 回复 Cateye 2012-1-2 10:47
poor Kona, I hope she find her way home.
1 回复 丹奇 2012-1-2 11:11
poor Kona, what will happen to her later?
1 回复 天涯看客 2012-1-2 11:16
Poor Kona, you can do something only you can afford.
1 回复 xinsheng 2012-1-2 11:16
Hi, I'm another girl/kid (my "nickname" is Xiao Xinsheng) who likes writing.....your story is pretty good, but I just want to point out that the tense used in the story keeps changing, when it should stay the same throughout. In addition maybe you could include some more details about how and why Kona changed, since personality changes don't usually happen so suddenly.  Otherwise, the story is great!
1 回复 卉樱果 2012-1-2 11:20
Hello Hannah, very good writing! I am Chinese and learning English. I can not understnad "。。。。。。, and Kona would never , ever  tell on her siblings." Would you please let me know? Thank you Hannah~
1 回复 走过青春 2012-1-2 11:25
This is very Interesting story!

I love  it!

1 回复 黑茉莉 2012-1-2 11:46
Is this your first time writing novel? Can't believe it, Very intereting!   

I love it too!
1 回复 yulinw 2012-1-2 11:50
   Very interesting story~~
1 回复 方丹白露 2012-1-2 11:57
I can't wait to read the next chapter!
1 回复 Laile 2012-1-2 12:13
Welcome to back to China. We can learn English from you and you can lear Chinese from us.
1 回复 sucymexico 2012-1-2 12:56
it's an amazing story,  and you have great imagination!
1 回复 丑女多做怪 2012-1-2 13:34
1 回复 xqw63 2012-1-2 13:37
Good story. You did a great job, Hannah!
1 回复 dongfang2006 2012-1-2 13:55
1 回复 心隨風舞 2012-1-2 14:23
Wow, you're so amazing!!!Learn from You。
1 回复 同往锡安 2012-1-2 14:56
Good job. Keep on going~
1 回复 铜山 2012-1-2 15:10
1 回复 方兴未艾 2012-1-2 15:17
Keep up the good work, you go, girl!
1 回复 早安太阳 2012-1-2 15:46
开头很引人入胜!棒棒棒! 加油小汉娜!!
1 回复 无为村姑 2012-1-2 16:24
   Very interesting writing! And there is a suspension in the end!~~~ Good for u Hannah~

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