为什么女人对男人有很强的防御感？

Any man who's been in the dating market for some time knows how defensive women can be. They seem to always have a guard up, and it's impossible to break through. What's a guy to do?

（这就是为什么男人年龄越大就越成熟，而女性喜欢所谓成熟的男人，其实就是因为成熟的男人有对付女人的经验和技巧。）

It is possible to take her guard down, but it requires patience and tact. Read on to learn why women are defensive against men, and how to change that.

（男人完全有可能将女人的防备感卸掉，但要一定技巧。这是因为女人远远比男人复杂，敏感，多疑。任何的细微动作感受在女人那里都可以放大到几千倍，而男人则不以为然，感觉莫名其妙。）

Change roles.（角色转换）

You're a guy, and you want to get with a girl. I understand that, but try looking at the situation from her perspective. You're probably the fifth guy to hit on her that hour. That and you have to realize that women get pushed around by men all the time. Crude remarks, barking, and even sexual abuse are not uncommon against females, so your approach has to make allowances for these possibilities.

（这 样的遭遇是一个正常的稍有姿色的女人经常遇到的。女性受骚扰，乃至性骚扰的机率是很多男士无法想象的。女性常常被迫的遭受男性莫名其妙的暧昧，直截了当的 戏弄，而她们心里气愤可很多时候又没办法，唯有习惯之，想开一点，下次不让男人这么干。一点点，女人的戒备心就养成了。）

Don't bloat your head.

Men hit on women, and get angry when they're rejected. They call her stuck up, or a variety of derogatory names. Instead, realize that she doesn't have to be flattered by you.（千真万确的一句话！） If you get rejected, move on to someone else.

（女性不但要被动的接受随时而来的骚扰，而且当女性稍显强势拒绝骚扰男时，男性往往认为这女人太不知抬举，不懂风情，随之而来：什么拜金女，势力女，暴躁女，无情女，婊子，妓女，等等等等......）

Take it slow.（慢为上策）

Most guys hit on women by flirting immediately, only to get shot down. Realize that she doesn't know you yet, and save the sexual innuendos for when she's more comfortable with you. Instead, introduce yourself, and maybe ask for her opinion on something. With women, slower is better.

（当 一个男人看上一个女人时，说到底就是“性”吸引。以性为目的是男人的天性，是很正常的。但在女人的脑子里，性往往不是第一步，而是最后的一步。女人较男人 更现实，更感性，更注重相互的感觉和交流。所以，当男人遇到心怡的女人时，千千万万不要显出“我就马上想跟你上床”的意思，这样会把所有想跟你真心交往的 女人吓跑，当然妓女除外。）

Final Thoughts

There are many reasons why women are defensive against men. For one, they're used to getting hit on, but you never know about a girl's past either. Don't move fast like other guys. Instead, treat her gently, and you'll stand a much better chance of dropping her guard. Don't give her a reason to be defensive, and she won't be.　

当男人想追心怡的女人时，温柔乃是上上策，加上诚恳和有效的沟通。这个温柔并不一定是言语柔软，或完全顺着女人说话做事，而是要有度。而且男人是应该有坚定口气，完美的自信。男人可以显出更open，但不能唐突霸道。

一 年长男性朋友说：“对待女人，要想对待眼镜蛇一样。不能轻举妄动，不能一下子靠得太近，不能直接上前，不能动作过猛；要随着眼镜蛇的柔性窥探，要前进不能 显出后退，非要后退时也要表现得有前进的打算并有策略；要从旁边缓缓入手，绕过直视的锋利；如同舞蛇者手中的笛子，以免突然被叨上一口，不但痛，且有 毒”。