周末了Let's Party! (荤笑话歌舞美女招待)

工作一周，头昏眼花，周末回家，卸下马甲，一起爬梯吧！

先来一首Shania Twain的劲歌《Honey, I’m Home!》。就让她代替我唱了吧！先来阵狂舞，看喜欢不？不喜欢？那就看下面我写的笑话。这笑话是俺的原创，灵感来自于和老公的一通电话。看看能否逗你开心？

在家当领导的这个担子不是那么容易的，一早起来要想着今晚全家吃什么？这里的全家听着吓人，实际上就咱俩。狗狗一日三餐吃他的那个三文鱼口味的狗粮，也不嫌腻味？本来想好做鸡汤的，要把鸡解冻，找了半天没找到。上班后打个电话给老公问：“老公啊，我想今天晚上做鸡汤喝，怎么找了半天没有啊？我昨天不是让你买来着，怎么，你没买你的小鸡鸡呀？”说完，老公在电话那头放声大笑，说我三俗附体了，我也忍不住哈哈大笑。好笑之余，突然发现这个字不能随便多加也不能随便少加。加了以后，意思可大相径庭啊。上面就是一个例子啊。再来，如果我要给别人介绍我家的小弟，你只能讲小弟，不能介绍这是我的小弟弟，是吧？如果你要向老公撒娇说“老公，我今天特累人，给我捶捶背！”。那你可能不能乱加字，说“老公公，我今天特累，给我捶捶背”. 哈哈

还有啊，有些该发二字的，少一个也不行啊。你看，这一天晓红搀着她的爷爷奶奶到朋友家开party，她给别人介绍这是我的爷爷，这是我的奶奶，可是晓红从小就有毛病，双重字的第二个字她发不清楚，于是就变成了：“这是我的爷，这是我的奶！”尴尬！可能还有其他很多，希望大家踊跃参与，我嘛，抛砖引玉，表砸砖！

好了，有没有开心，没有？那给你来段钢琴吧，看看这个年轻的钢琴王子李云迪演奏红歌是否让你回到那个时代呢？

想必你一定很开心，让你看点更开心的，一群帅锅美女来段优美的踢踏舞，好过瘾的。还有一段最精彩的狗狗视频。你一定会哈哈大笑的。

上面的都不喜欢，那就自个儿倒酒喝吧，喝醉你拉倒！哈哈

"Honey, I'm Home"歌词

The car won't start-it's falling apart
I was late for work and the boss got smart
My pantyline shows-got a run in my hose
My hair went flat-man, I hate that
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse
I realized I forgot my purse
With all this stress-I must confess
This could be worse than PMS

This job ain't worth the pay
Can't wait 'til the end of the day
Honey, I'm on my way
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!

I broke a nail opening the mail
I cursed out loud 'cause it hurt like hell
This job's a pain-it's so mundane
It sure don't stimulate my brain

This job ain't worth the pay
Can't wait 'til the end of the day
Honey, I'm on my way
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!

Oh, rub my neck will you

Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!

I'm home, that feels much better