抗疫杂记（252）文/挑灯看剑

美国这次大选，令许多华人家庭出现矛盾和冲突，华一代与华二代之间的冲突尤其显著。

子女成长过程中, 父母的价值观对子女会产生极大影响。许多华一代在毛泽东思想的浸泡中长大, 人在自由世界, 心却留恋专制制度，价值观和思维方式还是毛泽东思想和中国封建文化熏陶出的那一套: 革命式, 家长式, 奴才式, 典型表现是对老毛和川普这类具有强烈专制独裁思想之人的怀念与崇拜。更可悲的是某些华一代到了美国十年二十年甚至一辈子，英文还是半吊子，只看中文媒体，接受二手三手经过多次加工的信息。不能用英文与孩子交流，却毫无自知之明，摆出一副唯我独尊的样子在孩子面前耍威风，愚蠢又可笑。

        

华二代在家里受这种价值观念影响, 在学校在社会接受西方民主自由平等价值观念熏陶, 与父母出现沟通困难甚至激烈冲突在所难免。

我们公司每年为员工子女设立一个大学入学奖学金, 所有员工子女都可以申请, 要求是进入大学的孩子写一篇文章, 阐明自己的价值观和此价值观对自己成长的影响。儿子大学一年级时曾写一篇发给我, 我递交给公司前读了一遍, 觉得儿子文章写的相当具体深刻, 而且很有文采，值得一读，贴出来分享。

价值观念是一个社会文明进步的基石，培养孩子正确的价值观念应是教育最重要的任务。

Values ­--It’s Who We Are 

There is much grey in this world, imparted as a heavy fog in the minds of all which blur the lines between right and wrong. I was raised in an immigrant household, newly arriving in Niagara Falls upon fleeing the communist regime in China in the early 1990’s. Torn between multiple cultural identities, I never felt right believing blindly in what others’ had expected of me. Nor did I once believe that there were inherently correct choices in many circumstances. Instead, people were guided by their values, a set of prevailing ideals that they developed over their lifetimes. To many, this is a light in the grey fog, helping one to choose their own path. 

I attended the french immersion program in high school. I learned a great deal over my four years, not just academically but also how to craft my dreams and desires into action upon graduating. Most importantly though, was the character that I exhibited to my peers and mentors as I had always treated them with the utmost respect. Many of my teachers regarded me as exemplary in both my studies and passion for learning, while my peers regularly approached me for guidance in their own studies and personal issues. Gaining their trust and loyalty was just a function of how I always acted, and the values I showcased at school. This culminated in receiving the Award for Student Excellence from the Scotiabank Convention Centre during my graduation ceremony. 

My time as a tour guide at the Ten Thousand Buddha Sarira Stupa proved to be a great turning point. As I was inexperienced in the beginning, I fumbled through my first few tours. However there was a host of many great prior volunteers who helped build my skills and confidence as an orator. While I started very narrow minded and driven to do well myself, I found that the real value of my work was helping others, whether that was raising awareness about what buddhism had to offer, or eventually guiding my own younger peers to build their confidence. The instance I remember most clearly was coaching two grade 9 school girls, who were very shy at the beginning, to being able to deliver a clear and enthusiastic 45 minute tour to a legion of guests by themselves.

Niagara is truly my home, a place where I discovered, developed and tempered my values with experiences that will follow me from now on. Now that I have left, studying at University for a double degree program, I continually find the importance in staying true to one’s self. In times of doubt and confusion, again when the grey fog is thick and heavy, my values have always lead me correctly. I don’t pretend to know the truth, or what is really right or wrong, but I believe in my choices above all else. In the words of Aristotle “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” The values that I hold true are not a mere act, but instead a definition of my person. Thus our values align not by chance, but because we are alike in many ways.