SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The
State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some
milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two
cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a
tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two
cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. Later, you
hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two
cows. You go on strike, organize a riot,
and block the roads, because you want three cows.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You
have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000
cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two
cows. You have 300 people milking
them. You claim that you have full
employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported
the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two
cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks
you have lots of cows. You tell them that
you have none. Nobody believes you, so
they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows
but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two
cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to
celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two
cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows
borrowed from French and German banks. You
eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot
deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their
cows/milk. You are out getting a
haircut.
AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two
cows. One of them is a horse.
Washington D.C. Office: (202)
618-2573