骂人也是一件艺术活

作者:杨立勇  于 2019-1-28 00:53 发表于 最热闹的华人社交网络--贝壳村

通用分类:文史杂谈|已有1评论

(杨老师读书笔记: Nancy Mcphee》《The Book of Insults Ancient & Modern》 )

骂人也是件艺术活

这本《古今骂人集》 ,居然是一名女士编写的!真是行行出状元啊!

富有讽刺意味的是,社会越进步,骂人的艺术越退化,骂人的格调也越低俗。现在,用一个F词足矣。它已经可以包罗万象,放之四海而皆准。比如下面这段话:

If you give a f**k at all about f**king amazing English language, you would stop f**king around and study the word f**k.

When your friends start f**king with you just tell them to shut the f**k up and to go f**k themselves, because you need to f**king study.

 Don’t be a f**k up. Instead of getting f**ked up at bars like a dumbf**k trying to f**k another alcoholic f**k, be a cheapf**k and stay at home and learn to use the word f**k. So when someone asks you, “What the f**k does that mean?” You don’t have to answer, “I don’t f**king know.”

上面短短这段话,用了17个F词,而且囊括各种词性语法,听起来的确够铿锵有力,但乏味粗鄙至极,毫无艺术含量。

反观古代,上至文豪下至草民,骂起人来格调高雅,表述丰富多彩,咒骂起人来那叫一个荡气回肠,令人叹为观止:

莎士比亚:I would thou didth itch from head to foot and I had the scratching of thee. 
(我让你从头到脚奇痒难忍,由我来挠你痒痒。) 

马克吐温:Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? 
你干嘛像一个没有地址的信封一样坐在那里?

悉尼史密斯:I like him and his wife. He is so ladylike, and she is such a perfect gentleman. 

(我喜欢他和他太太。他很有闺秀风范,她则是一名完美无缺的绅士。)

看看各地民俗里的咒语: 

印度南部托达部落仪式上的咒语:

Die, may he: Tiger, catch him; Snake, bite him; Steep hill, fall down on him; River, flow over him; Wild boar, bite him.
让他死去;老虎,抓他;毒蛇,咬他;险峰,倾塌下来压住他;河流,淹过他;野猪,咬他。
(Ceremonial curse of the Todas of India)

斐济岛上的咒语:

May you dig up your father by moonlight and make soup of his bones.
让你乘着月色挖出你的老爹,用他的骨头熬汤喝。
(Fiji Islands)

阿拉伯咒语:

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
让一千头骆驼身上的跳蚤都钻到你的腋窝下。
(Arab curse)

May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket.
让你的左耳萎缩脱落到你的右口袋里。
(Arab curse)

爱尔兰咒语:
May you melt off the earth like snow off the ditch.
让你从地球上消融,就像沟渠里的雪那样消融。
(Irish curse)

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.
让玛丽玛隆的诅咒和她九个瞎眼的私生子追你远至诅咒之山上,连上帝拿着望远镜都找不着你。
(Irish curse)

看了南茜麦克菲女士的骂人艺术大全,我也开始留意一下如何把人骂得心花怒放,听完还帮你数钱的招数:

Everybody has the right to be ugly. Undoubtedly , you seem to have abused that privilege ! 
谁都有长得丑的权利。而您无疑是滥用了这项特权了!

Not only must have you fallen out of the ugly tree , you must have hit every branch on the way down. 
你不仅是从丑之树掉下来的,一路下来还撞到每一枝树丫了吧!

You have a very unusual face. If I'd one like that, I'd consider taking my parents to court. 
你这个脸蛋不寻常。我要是有这么一张脸,我会考虑把我父母告上法庭的。

Aren't you supposed to have a licence to be that ugly ? 
您不是需要领一张许可证才让长得这么丑的么?

If you look at my face , you'll see i don't care. And if you look at your own face, you'll see that God didn't care much either. 
您瞧我的脸,会发现我不在乎。您瞧您自己的脸,会发现上帝当时也不大在乎。

而下面这一个最刻薄:

After a night of drink, drug and wild sex Dave woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he'd made it home safely last night. 
经过一宿的酒精毒品乱性以后,戴维第二天早上醒来,发现躺在一名丑女人身边,他才恍然想起来:昨天晚上竟然安然回到自己家中。



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2 回复 洛游邮乐 2019-1-28 05:38
有痛痛快快的直接开骂,也有不动声色的损人。就像北京话一样,骂人不带脏字,是要点艺术。

facelist doodle 涂鸦板

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