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- 回复 nnzzll
- 说了你不要生气啊。你应该庆幸，这是一件大好事。说白了，你前妻是个超级白痴。也不掂量掂量自己是谁，有没有人家邓文迪那个脑子。这样人其实何时何地都有很多，无论是公司和学校里，她们的野心就是控制一个条件不错的男人，满足自己的欲望和虚荣，被甩之后自己痛苦的不行。自己不努力，天下哪里有免费的午餐啊，人家给个棒子就当真，夸她几句不知道自己是谁了。再说难听点，其实也许是她先动心，主动献身给对方的。
香满林: 她跟她老板美国白人了。 一年后。另外一个中国女学生（倒是单身的）竟争上岗了。我看白人稀罕的，大多是身材好胸脯大的。我前妻后来想跟我了因为在美国要找一个好 ...
祝你和新太太生活愉快，好人最终遇到好人，这不挺好。
- 回复 nnzzll
- 说白了就是眼光浅，不知道自己谁了。傻的可以，还真以为自己今年20，明年18啊。
海攀: 你的前妻也是二百五，没有把握对方娶她就跑，那不是让人白玩吗？杨小静很清楚吉姆爱她，会娶她的。另一方面，吉姆只是中年人，没有老到那种地步。
- 回复 nnzzll
- 无论哪个时代搞上床的不少，搞到能当正宫夫人的不多。
香满林: 像邓文迪那样的多。没有机会罢了。有几个能在乘飞机的时候找到工作。女的只要主动，一定把男的搞定。我前妻搬走前几个月跟我说“人家不会要我的”，你听听看！
女人最终还是要靠自己努力，没有内在，还是白搭。
- 回复 生于70‘S
- 身材好，胸脯大的我也喜欢 （谁不呢）。 心理上过不了那道坎，早点结束不是坏事。 觉得你在那事上可能过于敏感了，人不是牲口，没那么单纯。两口子的事都是一言难尽。
香满林: 她跟她老板美国白人了。 一年后。另外一个中国女学生（倒是单身的）竟争上岗了。我看白人稀罕的，大多是身材好胸脯大的。我前妻后来想跟我了因为在美国要找一个好 ...
- 回复 smartman
- at least this time you are outspoken to state a fact. man or woman eventually needs his/her own efforts.
nnzzll: 无论哪个时代搞上床的不少，搞到能当正宫夫人的不多。
女人最终还是要靠自己努力，没有内在，还是白搭。
- 回复 smartman
- i am calm to state. i said earlier it is completely personal viewpoint. what i meant is, if i really want to defend for zheng, i could have given tons of excuses for zheng and tons of critisim to yang. :-) it would be a too long english mini-paper -- give it up now.
海攀: 是啊，心平气和地聊聊天吧。
- 回复 smartman
- let me present my first statement:
ultravires: 何必呢，和气生财。
did yang really remember her oath when she married zheng?
"regardless of rich or poor, healthy or sick, smooth or difficult, you will spend all your life to live with this man"? should we insert one more sentence, "regardless of his hard-work or idleness"?
- 回复 nnzzll
- 哈哈，其实也不算率直。只现在很多人不相信努力，更相信‘不劳而获’的神话，什么都想速成。有些中国的女人思想更加复杂，又想省力，又想嫁得好。老天你光凭你年轻漂亮，内心什么都不懂，能持续几天啊。这里说的不懂，不光是指知识/学问。没有人是不凭努力就能有成就的，能升到教授，boss就说明他/她曾经付出的努力更多，奋斗的心态常人很难理解。但是有些女人只看到人家表面的风光，根本理解不了人家的思想，一味按她的水平要求这，要求那。时间长了，一腻味不被甩还等什么。也有很多自力更生的女人，不一定学问有多高，长得有多么漂亮，发自内心的魅力，让谁都想和她说几句话。
smartman: at least this time you are outspoken to state a fact. man or woman eventually needs his/her own efforts.
- 回复 ultravires
- 恩。
海攀: 正常女孩吧，不是圣人。
- 回复 ultravires
- 男人总也要做点什么吧，总不能每天光打牌，打游戏，打酱油吧。
smartman: let me present my first statement:
did yang really remember her oath when she married zheng?
"regardless of rich or poor, healthy or sick, sm ...
誓言是相互的，就像爱也一样。
- 回复 smartman
- has zheng rebelled his oath? never! it is yang who did it!
ultravires: 男人总也要做点什么吧，总不能每天光打牌，打游戏，打酱油吧。
誓言是相互的，就像爱也一样。
zheng has done quite a lot for yang for years. he worked hard to get scholarship from us best school. he brought yang to the us. he did not ask her to do anything, either working in a restaurant or lab. he loved her wholly-heartedly and never got involved in any adultry issue.
ZHENG DID NOT FORCE YANG TO DO ANYTHING SHE IS UNCOMROTFABLE TO DO, E.G., FORCING HER TO GO ACK TO SCHOOL TO EARN A DEGREE.
IT IS YANG WHO FORCED ZHENG TO PURSUE A PHD IN ORDER TO SATISFY HER VANITY.
if yang so desires a large house and decent life, why would she strive for it by her own efforts? she should go back to school, earn her phd and a decent job and buy a bug house?!
why could yang put her dream-realizing burden on her husband's shoulder? if yang dislikes school and exam, why should she require zheng to have to bear it?
what is wrong if zheng ends up with a master degree and works as a technician, rather than a professor?
- 回复 smartman
- gee, if 50% of current chinese beautiful women understand and follow your point, i bet the morale of chinese will be enhanced by 100%.
nnzzll: 哈哈，其实也不算率直。只现在很多人不相信努力，更相信‘不劳而获’的神话，什么都想速成。有些中国的女人思想更加复杂，又想省力，又想嫁得好。老天你光凭你年 ...
we should recommend to the Chinese central government to create for you a position called "Minister, Department of Women Enmancipation and Reeducation"!
- 回复 ultravires
- has zheng rebelled his oath? never! it is yang who did it!
smartman: has zheng rebelled his oath? never! it is yang who did it!
zheng has done quite a lot for yang for years. he worked hard to get scholarship from u ...
zheng has done quite a lot for yang for years. he worked hard to get scholarship from us best school. he brought yang to the us. he did not ask her to do anything, either working in a restaurant or lab. he loved her wholly-heartedly and never got involved in any adultry issue.
男人给他心爱的女人这些是应该的，因为这个社会是不公平的，充满对女人的歧视。女人需要爱她的男人来保护她，使她可以藐视这些歧视。
ZHENG DID NOT FORCE YANG TO DO ANYTHING SHE IS UNCOMROTFABLE TO DO, E.G., FORCING HER TO GO ACK TO SCHOOL TO EARN A DEGREE.
那是因为他们没有钱读了，另外大卫自己不喜欢学习，怎么会去逼其他人学习呢？（不仅仅是小杨，换其他人他也不会逼）
IT IS YANG WHO FORCED ZHENG TO PURSUE A PHD IN ORDER TO SATISFY HER VANITY.
要不，要我们男人干嘛。
if yang so desires a large house and decent life, why would she strive for it by her own efforts? she should go back to school, earn her phd and a decent job and buy a bug house?!
那要我们男人有什么用。
why could yang put her dream-realizing burden on her husband's shoulder? if yang dislikes school and exam, why should she require zheng to have to bear it?
那要我们男有什么用。
what is wrong if zheng ends up with a master degree and works as a technician, rather than a professor?
如果大卫努力了，但是只能那样了的话，我相信小杨不会为难她的
你看在最后第二段的最后一句话，其实那个是小杨带给大卫的话，我甚至觉得，这个时候小杨还没有走出那一步。
另外这位大哥，这个话题我的发言到此为止。你有什么想说的就随意了。要不就变成我们两在写了。
- 回复 nnzzll
- 可惜，这样的女人通常被称为‘剩女’。
smartman: gee, if 50% of current chinese beautiful women understand and follow your point, i bet the morale of chinese will be enhanced by 100%.
we sh ...
- 回复 smartman
- really? are you kidding? do 剩女 belong to this type? is this the reason or the outcome these women become 剩女?
nnzzll: 可惜，这样的女人通常被称为‘剩女’。
i read on backchina.com a comment that US becomes the best place in the world to absorb chinese 剩女s. so, i advocate US should welcome and import such independent, self-improved 剩女s. the more, the better. these 剩女s work hard to contribute to, rather than, take from the society.
- 回复 smartman
- this time, let me seriously answer your question. (the previous posting was kidding.)
nnzzll: 可惜，这样的女人通常被称为‘剩女’。
we/men admire these independent, self-improved wemen. this group of wemen, however, still carries the traditional mindset that a woman has to marry a husband better than herself. this severely limits the scope of their choices and drives them into 剩女’s group.
if they are open-minded and willing to accept men who are not as successful as themselves, they should have much more choices. on the other hand, while some women did make such choices, they should treat their inferior husbands equally and politely. if they maintain the demanding attitude of superiority in their daily life to their husband, their marriage may still go astray some day.
- 回复 smartman
- 1. men are willing to do something or everything out of their love. but not their obligations. in return, women are not obliged, but should contribute the same to their loved ones. obviously zheng has done much more to yang while yang has returned little to zheng. she was always insatiable and never appreciated what zheng had done to her, even from the first day, little thinking zheng spent $400 to purchase a new mattress -- a significant amount for a poor phd student. remember zheng's salary is slightly over $1000 per month.
ultravires: has zheng rebelled his oath? never! it is yang who did it!
zheng has done quite a lot for yang for years. he worked hard to get scholarship from u ...
2. this society is unequal not only to woman but also to men, especially in the US where chinese men are under much greater pressure than in domestic china. has yang shown her genuine efforts in understanding and helping zheng over these discriminations and obstacles? has yang really shared the pains and angony zheng experienced for years? NO AT ALL.
3. yang has constantly, from day one, pushed zheng to get his phd degree, become a famous professor and be able to afford a big house in a noble neighborhood. she is abusing and using her husband to realize her personal, selfish dream because she is obviously unable to realize her unrealistic dream by herself alone. does she ever care about and try to understand what zheng's dream is? why her husband must live up to her standard and follow her suit? why should zheng have to abondon his lifestyle and do something he really hates to do, merely to satisfy Yang's vanity and dream?
4. 大卫自己不喜欢学习，怎么会去逼其他人学习呢？
however, why yang 自己不喜欢学习，but push and force 去逼zheng 学习呢？if you really hate doing something, how come you force your husband to do that?
Remember Confucion said, "you hate something, do not force it to others". (Ji Suo Bo Yu, Hu Shi Yu Ren.)
5. "那要我们男人有什么用。"
look, your idealogy is -- man is obliged to sacrifice himself completely in order to satisfy his wife, for whatever the wife's dream is. that is no room for discussion if you hold this as your axiom.
look, you used this "seemingly axiom" three times!
6. 如果大卫努力了，但是只能那样了的话，我相信小杨不会为难她的
i hardly agree with you.
6A. this is something zheng utterly hates to do for all his lifetime. if you force a person to do something he really hates to do for his lifetime, what outcome can you expect? eh?
6B. zheng has put his tremendous efforts already for years to, take TOFEL and GRE, study hard, get admitted into Harvard, tackle his most hatred things in the world. he managed to take courses, satsify GPA requirements, pass his qualifying exams, so on and so forth. has yang realized and appreciated his year-long efforts so far?
6C. even if zheng tried his best efforts and still failed to get his phd, i bet yang will forever complain to zheng and will never forgive zheng unless zheng was able to realize her dream of big house in a noble neighborhood. i believe you are naiive to say, 我相信小杨不会为难她的. for beautiful women of vanity, their desires are constantly escalating and instaiable!!!
additional remarks:
A. chinese has an old saying: words advised are less effective than behavious presented. (Yan Chuang Bo Ruo Shen Jia).
B. to educate their kids into better school scores, in domestic china, many parents pick up their kids textbooks and do every homework exercise together with their kids and again grow up with their kids. their kids stand out among their peers under their parents' role model.
C. if yang is so anxious to realize her dream, she should pick up her books and make herself a school-type person to earn at least a master degree from a challenging program. if she could remodel and change herself completely into a school type, zheng could then be influenced and gradually become a school-type person, too. (if not, then yang can claim she have input all her efforts and she can request divorce without guilty.) rememeber, only when you loves an area (at least not hate an area) can you engage your lifetime in that area.
D. unless yang changed zheng into a person not hating books and schools, how come she expect zheng will devote his lifetime into a research-oriented, professorial career? if yang is so determined, yang should change herself first and demonstrate to zheng that, even a non-school type pretty woman can change from a book-hated person into a book worm, why a man can't?
- 回复 香满林
- 西人骗人的时候一点不输于中国人。刚开始的时候，听音乐会，看芭蕾舞，乘游艇钓鱼，生日的时候在外面开会还邮寄了一索花。把她那个感动的呀。我那时候哪舍的50元去买索花，更别说乘游艇了。到新鲜劲过了，那老板一心放在课题和PAPER上。听说他那个有关神经细胞生长的PAPER发表在CELL上了。等她老板有了新欢后，就对她说，文化兴趣爱好差异了。那新上位的也是中国女孩呀，没文化兴趣爱好差异了？ 我前妻还因为他专门去搞懂橄榄球和冰球规则呐。再看那巴特曼，在想追那洋妞的时候，搭上了小静。巴特曼的感情怎么转的这么快呀。很快发现了新目标。小静一开始如果象那洋妞那样明确的告诉他，就不可能发展下去了。希望小静最后没有被文化差异掉。
海攀: 你的前妻也是二百五，没有把握对方娶她就跑，那不是让人白玩吗？杨小静很清楚吉姆爱她，会娶她的。另一方面，吉姆只是中年人，没有老到那种地步。